How To Let Dad Be Dad

How To Let Dad Be Dad

I have a serious problem. I can’t seem to let Dad be Dad. At bath time I peek or casually walk in with the ” oh you forgot his towel” just so I can check to see if he’s bathing our son the way I do it. Of course where I notice discrepancies I offer the unsolicited advice – “he likes it when you put his bath pals in the water” – I do it every time ! I can’t help it. I’m with this little person ALL DAY long so sorry if I have a special way of doing things.

We also have the sleep methods quite different. I prefer the soothe to sleep way while Dad prefers the cry to sleep method. I just cannot seem to ignore the tug at my heart to hear that big loud cry so of course I rush to his rescue ( Mommy is here to save you ). But Dad explains we have to teach our son to fall asleep on his own or you’ll be doing YOUR method when he’s at age it’ll be too ridiculous to be doing. There I am thinking Dad is so right ( unfortunately) but he’s just a baby, at least in my eyes he still is.

But then it dawned on me, I’m looking at things a bit wrong.Although we have two different ways of parenting, I have to let Dad play his role. Yes I might be the one that does the longer baths with the giggles and splashes but Dad’s quick baths, awkward diaper changes or interesting choice of clothes for the baby are all his way of showing his love.

So if you are anything like me then you will know how difficult it is. We are wired different from Dads and are often more patient and less repulsed by dirty diapers but Dads who stick around and actually show interest in their children’s upbringing deserve our love and support even in their awkwardness. So go ahead support Dad, your spouse, partner or boyfriend. Let him just be Dad without allowing you Mom instincts to interfere !

Until next time, keep sane Moms !

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The Balancing Act

The Balancing Act

How mothers mastered this I do not know
To swing into roles so easily, being a cook and a mother
To tip on their toes to save that fall
To think of things way bigger than the size of their brains
Whether at home or the office
Their minds travel hours ahead
To keep their homes on its foundation
For their work shows the order that can emerge from chaos
And yet a role so common
Requires worthy recognition

How mothers have juggled it all I have yet to discover
With minds that solve some of life’s most complexed equations
Like what to make for dinner 365 days a year
Or how to fit so many chores in a day with time left over for sleep
And at nights those little eyes stare into your own, your own fatigue you set aside to tell stories you know line by line.

Now listen closely to the cheers as you walk the tight rope of scarce resources while ensuring everyone is well fed. You scrape the remnants of the pot bursting with energy from a few scraps. An honest salary can never be paid for a performance done the same way time and time again.
No Dads, you are not left out
But when it comes to balance
Moms are the experts, there is no doubt.


By : Kedeisha Freeman

Hope this poem encourages you today. Until next time keep sane moms!

Napping tips for Mom

Napping tips for Mom

Dear moms,
Have you ever felt tired and irritable? Perhaps what you need is a good nap. Even if you do not actually fall asleep just lie there with your eyes shut. Enjoy the silence, your body and mind will thank you later, with a feeling of rejuvenation, a better mood and clearer thoughts. But there are specific steps you must take to achieve this. Here they are:
1. Put baby to sleep – Of course! If you are a SAHM then there is no other way to get around to a nap unless your little one is first in dreamland.

2. Put phone on silent or do not disturb – Absolutely ! No calls, no texts. This is the only way to guarantee peace and quiet without the interference of the outside world.

3. Close windows and doors – Make your own little cocoon. You will feel the difference once you follow this step. It really helps you to get mentally prepared and relaxed for your nap.

4. Pull your curtains – A dark room sets the mood… for sleep! It may also make the room a bit cooler.

5. Make sure your room is absolutely quiet – The quieter the better! This will definitely make it easier to fall asleep and if you live in a concrete jungle like me it’s challenging to have total silence. However, following step 2 will definitely bring you close enough to complete silence.

6. Put phone far away from you so you are not tempted to pick it up and to undo step 2 to browse the internet or check messages – I’m guilty of this! But I have learned that distracting myself from the task at hand defeats the purpose because… Baby wakes up and guess what you have not slept yet!

7. Enjoy this quiet time. Don’t wait until you don’t have it to appreciate it – There’s no need to explain this one!

Until next time keep sane moms and happy napping !

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To Nurse or Not to Nurse

To Nurse or Not to Nurse

Sounds like a no-brainer, right? All I wanted to do was nurse my son but like many mothers I had to settle for formula feeding and occasionally nurse him as a human pacifier. Yes I have breastfeeding envy ! But I came to accept that I tried all that I could and that includes drinking many concoctions that were supposed to “bring my milk down”. Nothing worked and I was deeply saddened. Quite frankly I felt like a total failure, only half of a mother and what made it worse were people who said nothing to make me feel better about the situation.There is nothing more annoying than “are you nursing that boy” for a conversation starter. I would often feel this overwhelming guilt that would make me second-guess my mothering skills. On the flip side I commend and admire all breastfeeding moms. Although not exclusively breastfeeding my son had some perks, I still wish I was in the statistics of moms that breastfeed. Perhaps second time around (wink wink) I may enjoy solely breastfeeding my child. Breast milk remains the best for babies but for the women/advisers who instill fear in non-breastfeeding mothers, please desist. Telling these mothers who have tried so hard to get their babies to latch, that their babies will be sick among other negative commentary, is not only malicious but very insensitive.

There are mothers who opted not to nurse at all from the moment their babies were born but for whatever reason women opt not to nurse their babies, whether you agree with it or not, it is their choice and it should remain that way. However, sometimes the decision to nurse or not to nurse is a choice mothers cannot make for themselves, myself a case in point. With very low milk flow, I did what I had to and thankfully my son is healthy which is the most important thing to me.

Breast milk is best but it does not determine who you are as a mom. So if you are a new mom and you are struggling to breastfeed your baby, give it your best shot and if it does not work out, just make sure your baby is fed and healthy. Naysayers have a job to do but do not let their job affect you. If you are a nursing mom, do it for as long as you want to or can. If you are a mother who has opted not to nurse, no judgement here; everyone’s circumstance is different. Until next time keep sane moms!

Feel free to comment and voice your opinions on this topic. Looking forward to hearing and learning from you.



How I learned to be a Patient Parent

How I learned to be a Patient Parent

The first few months were easy because baby stayed where mommy put him but then it became a bit difficult when my son began to move around. I mean – “yaay he’s moving !” –  but amidst this excitement about his milestone I knew this meant we are at a new stage, the stage where I now I had to teach him the word no (actually I think they are born already knowing it), show him things he could do not versus the things he could do and as many of you already know they often do not prefer the latter. This is the most energy- demanding task ever. Running behind a small child who smiles (heart-melting smile of course) when you say no, is pretty familiar right? How you wish they would just stay in the parameters mommy has outlined ! It just took so much of my energy to the point that mouth hurt from constantly saying “No Isaac” – I know it is just two words. Try saying ‘no’ several times and you’ll see!

What I had to learn was consistency as well as finding other ways to get the desired behavior from him. I did not know disciplining an infant would take so much patience and pushing of your buttons too! My first instinct was always to yell “no don’t do that!” but he would always continue what he was doing like he was singing “la la la I can’t hear you Mom”. And so the moment came. I did some introspection and realized I have to be patient and calm, the personality of my child depends on it. What does that mean? It is simple, children live what they learn. I do not want my son to be mean kid at the playground or the one that throws terrible tantrums when he doesn’t get his way – yes I think if I do it right we will not have to have those kind of face offs ! What also helped was that I read Child Guidance, a book written by Ellen G. White – it is a great book, you should get one – and it brought to light that there is a better way to get my little one to listen and to learn do’s and don’ts in life. Here are two excerpts that were very meaningful to me:

“The Effect of a Quiet, Gentle Manner—Few realize the effect of a mild, firm manner, even in the care of an infant. The fretful, impatient mother or nurse creates peevishness in the child in her arms, whereas a gentle manner tends to quiet the nerves of the little one.3 CG “

“Take Time to Reason—Every mother should take time to reason with her children, to correct their errors, and patiently teach them the right way.9 CG”

Lastly I had to make a conscious effort and decision to invest in gentle reprimand approaches. If it means picking him up 10 times from the flower pots or say “baby plays here, not there ” a zillion times, then I will. I will do whatever I can to ensure he learns what is right and wrong or what is just not safe to do. You have to start training the minute they make direct eye contact (lol), in other words extremely early ! The good thing is you can adjust your methods the older your child gets so that you can match their level of understanding but most importantly always lovingly communicate that you only want to protect them and what is best for them. Another beneficial excerpt from Child Guidance was:

” Say It Simply; Say It Often.”—Those who instruct children should avoid tedious remarks. Short remarks and to the point will have a happy influence. If much is to be said, make up for briefness by frequency. A few words of interest, now and then, will be more beneficial than to have it all at once. Long speeches burden the small minds of children. 14 CG 34.6″

Guess what I’m still learning ! Each day brings new challenges that require some tweaks in my methodology .Remember in the same way a gardner gently tends to a garden, as mom’s we should incorporate “gentle touches, by loving ministrations” (Child Guidance, 19 CG 36.3) as we nurture not only them but their characters as well. Until next time keep sane moms!

For more tips or just to ask questions leave a comment, visit my facebook page or send me an email at

Tips for a Fussy Baby and Frustrated Mom

Tips for a Fussy Baby and Frustrated Mom

I have a been there many times -that moment when baby cries incessantly and you are clueless as to what is wrong. They tell you “every cry is different” – yeah right! I think I have only been able to match at least three cries to three issues: I’m sleepy, I’m hungry and I’m uncomfortable”. The rest are still a mystery.  So here’s what you can do when you have reached your wits end trying to calm your baby:

  1. Take baby outside – Going outside is not only good for baby but good for you. Most times when I take my son outside he’s knocked out when we return home which means I can either take a nap as well, have a bit of me time or get some work done in the house.
  2. Play some music – My son is a big Sesame Street fan. I usually find the videos with the celebrities singing with Elmo (his favorite TV person) and that just amazes him as well ask keeps him calm. Making a special song playlist for your baby may be very helpful. Choose songs your baby likes – my son is quite vocal when I play a song he does not like.
  3. Sing to your baby – Make your own songs, your baby will remember them. But if you rather not, there are several songs on YoutTube for babies you can sing.
  4. Repeat Tip #1 – As tired as you may feel most times nothing works better than going outside. There are so many things for baby to observe and learn. Use this as an opportunity to teach baby about his/her environment.
  5. Give baby a bath – Oh yes this definitely works! Sometimes baby is fussy because he feels clammy. A nice warm bath is relaxing and will even make him fall asleep. If a warm bath works for adults after a stressful day at work, it will work for a fussy baby.
  6. Try to remember if baby could tell you he would-  I had to stop and think often times to remind myself that my baby is unable to verbalize his feelings at this point and so I must be patient with him.
  7. Take a break – If a family member or trusted friend offers to stay with baby for a little while, say yes ! It is important to take breaks so that you can recharge and be in a better mood with your baby. Staying frustrated is not healthy for you or baby.
  8. Use distractions – Let’s face it, at this age the attention spans of babies are short. They can change their emotions in the wink of an eye. I usually pick up my crying son, stand by the window and then he starts smiling because he is seeing something new. Try a different toy, go to different room – babies do get bored too.
  9. Do a countdown until you feel calm – I usually stop at 10 or 20 but feel free to keep going until your frustration fades!
  10. Remember this is a phase – Babies are not babies forever even if you still call your adult son or daughter “my baby” – my mom still does after bla bla years 🙂


I hope this helps a frustrated mom today. Until next time keep sane moms!

For more tips or just to ask questions leave a comment, visit my facebook page or send me an email at

The Mom Job – The beginning of a new journey

The Mom Job – The beginning of a new journey

On January 16, 2017 ehem…not too long ago, I started a new job. It was one of those “you’re hired!” on the spot jobs. It was a very difficult process, three months of nausea, sleeping on my side against my will among other issues. It took exactly nine months to get the job. Even before that date I had to mentally prepare myself for the magnitude of the duties I would be expected to do. These duties included changing diapers, bath time, cuddle time, play time, soothing time, trying to get you to sleep time and the I-just-need-your-attention time as well as miscellaneous (the things your employer never mentions). The salary would be nonexistent and the hours would be always on the clock. As scary as the job sounded I said a resounding “yes I will take the job.” No need to ask when do I start because the minute the doctor handed me my little Isaac it was evident my first day of work was right now at 7:55 am, when he made his way into my life and heart.

Six and a half months later I am still on the job. Yes it’s one of those jobs that you can never quit and you cannot be fired from either unless there are extenuating circumstances…no need to talk about those. I mean that’s good right, guaranteed job security. Added to my job as a mom, I started school just two weeks after giving birth (thanks for the applause). I thought I could not do it but thanks to my supportive husband and other people in my life I got the motivation I needed to do the unthinkable. As if being a mom is not hard enough, try writing research papers with an attention-seeking newborn! Before our son was born we decided it would be best that I stay home with him. This meant giving up my independence that came with having a job (with income) to start a whole new routine which included night shifts (the kind of jobs I always avoided). We wanted him to get the best care he could ever get and who better could give that to him than me, his mom. This is still the best decision I have ever made despite the challenges I have experienced, which I will talk more about in my upcoming blog posts. Being able to experience each milestone with my son has been truly rewarding.

If you are new mom or a seasoned mom I say welcome to my blog The Mom Job. I hope my story, my experiences will inspire you, motivate you and remind you that your job is no simple task but it’s best job in the world ! I am looking forward to hearing from you moms for advice, your experiences or just about anything related to this awesome job. All non stay at home moms (Non- SAHMS) welcome !!!

P.S. It’s Sunday, hubby is home which means I am on my mini break to blog before Isaac notices I’m doing my own thing (he has a strict ‘no moonlighting’ policy)… oops ! Spoke too soon…until next time keep being sane Moms!

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